The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
