I saw his package. It spoke to me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
