Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
