Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
