we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize