This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
