dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
