so that wasnt chicken after all
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize