I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
do nipples grow back?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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