I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
