O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
