so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
