I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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