people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
