Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
