once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
