She's JV to your varsity
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
