So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
