matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
