pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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