If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
