You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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