I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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