I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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