yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
