guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I AM VODKA MAN
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
