The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
