Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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