On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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