It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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