I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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