is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
