he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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