thus making me awesome and them whores
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You're like the curious george of whores
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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