My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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