I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
