wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize