quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
