remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
