I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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