how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
