So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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