we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
