next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
