I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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