The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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