Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize