Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
