It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
