So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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