brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dignity is for republicans.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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