we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
