Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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