just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
