There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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