No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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