I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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