Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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