I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
