It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
